I grew up with my mother putting me in cringe worthy L.L. Bean clothes and wearing those “shoes” that are essentially heavy duty all-terrain hippy dippy one-with-the-earth type of sandal bullshit. Now in my late teens I want to shudder at the thought of the unattractive presentation of myself that was highly influenced by my Mother. As I got older I wanted to walk away- no, correction, sprint away from these “practical” items. I seemed to always be told that what is on the inside is what counts but unfortunately, I hate to pop your bubble, that is not completely true. More attractive people and those who care for their appearance can go farther in life based on how they present themselves. Now your mouth may be hanging open in horror but it is true, this world is incredibly vain and superficial. This does not mean you should indulge to an extreme but we cannot avoid caring, wishing or striving for some aspects of superficiality. Now that we have gotten past this terrible reality, if you truly want to make a good, lasting impression, strong friendships and a positive influence on the world you must pay just as much attention to who you are inside as you do outwardly. If you are attractive, flaunt it, beauty fades but if you are a lying, self-absorbed piece of shit, remember when your skin wrinkles and your thighs expand all your left with are the memories and a bad reputation. Look on the inside first but never forget the outside because feeling and looking your best are essential in more ways then one.
So, I am probably “beating a dead horse” as the saying goes but once again I want to address worrying and anxiety. If by chance this helps even one person I will be happy but quite honestly I think getting thoughts out of my head and expressing them through blog form will truly help me in the long run. I recently found a site and for one of the first times in my life I was shocked to find that many of my deepest thoughts regarding worrying were validated as actually feelings-I am not the only one! I think one of the first steps of dealing with any worry, disease, hardship is to realize, you are truly not alone. I am coming to terms that my leap into a far more productive life in college and striving for coming close to perfection, needing order and predictability have created a montage of worrisome thoughts when I am taken out of a repetitive schedule. I am getting anxiety about getting anxiety. I am scared about doing things that were incredibly easy for me last semester, in this upcoming semester. I worry about feeling anxious and sick in class, having a mental breakdown, not being able to handle life, failing myself, not being happy. The fact of the matter is, these worries are ridiculous and I even know that! I have already done and accomplished everything that is now causing me anxiety, maybe my biggest fear is not being in control of everything, could it be true, I have become a chronic control freak? I went from being more self-assured then every before to my thoughts quivering like a willow in a hurricane when thinking about everything not being “ok”. Here is the thing, if you are so busy worrying about what could happen, about not being happy, how do you expect to be happy and lets be real, worrying does not, I repeat DOES NOT, will not and can not change the future. The site I found, HELPGUIDE.org is a must read. In case you are in a rush I will give you a quick sampling of the knowledge that may help you as much as I am hoping it will help me! If you happen to be at a complete loss as to why you have become a chronic worrier in the first place maybe this bit of info will help “How you feel is affected by the company you keep, whether you’re aware of it or not. Studies show that emotions are contagious. We quickly “catch’ moods from other people- even from strangers who never speak a word (e.g. the terrified woman sitting by you on the plane; the fuming man in the checkout line). The people you spend a lot of time with have an even greater impact on your mental state.” If you have a best friend who is constantly stressful and negative it may be time to from new relationships with more positive people! A worry journal was also suggested on the website, an idea I never thought of. Maybe you can rationalize a great deal of your worries and realize that they slowly disappear with the knowledge of their weakening importance ! Good luck!
Just a quick blog update to end a peaceful night. I recently decided to upload a photo of myself onto my profile and by recent I mean as of about five minutes ago…I hope that anyone reading my words will take them as just that, my words without adding how I look or who the perceive me to be into the equation. I never thought of how incredible anonymity could be when you truly want the general public to consider your words for their content and not their author. With that being said, there I am, judge as you may but remember, writing is my passion and I hope that anyone following or liking my posits will continue to do so with little thought of whether they see me as ugly or not. IT is my strong belief that there is something beautiful about everyone, may it be on the inside or out. xoxo A
I am going to be returning to my small private college in only a matter of days. With that being said I will be returning to structured life, much to my excitement with a small but poignant mixture of resentment. I am all for the college life, even the homework but this semester brings six classes, four days a week and four days of getting up before 9am and a dreaded math course. I admit, it could be far worse but I am far from a morning person and will need an arsenal of positivity and motivation to sail me through the second semester of college. I have become a firm believer in positivity and the necessity to find motivation at all costs. For some it may be harder then a simple mantra so I will list a compilation of quotes that I find encouraging to get you out of bed and hopping into positivity pants. Forgive the extreme cheesiness but you get the idea-enjoy!
1. “If you are depressed, you are living in the past. IF you are anxious, you are living in the future. IF you are at peace, you are living in the present.”-Lao Tzu
2. “No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future.”-Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab
3. “So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.” -Marilyn Monroe
4. “Everybody isn’t gonna love you most people don’t even love themselves.”-unknown
5.“You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”- Christopher Columbus
6. “The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.”- Theodore Rubin
7. “Your attitude, not your aptitude, determines your altitude.”- Zig Ziglar
8.“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”-Confucious
I believe I have mentioned this before but I experienced the greatest anxiety for the longest period of time in my life recently. It has been discouraging after I have been doing amazingly well in many aspects of my life. If I am trying to do what is best for me I truly can’t dwell on irrational fears, anxious thoughts and stress related scenarios. Worrying never made anyone a millionaire or solved world hunger. Avoiding near panic is going to be a struggle but one I must get through. I have no choice. So, on a brighter note for anyone experiencing some of the same feelings, there is hope! I am the type of person that likes to analyze scenarios and situations in my head, to combat the natural instincts that are working against me there are a couple of ways I believe I can help myself. Whether you are religious or not, whether your anxiety is extreme or not, no matter the circumstance I think the serenity prayer can truly create peace. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Nobody wants to accept they are powerless but lets be honest with ourselves, in many cases we are. We do not control life and death, we do not control catastrophes but we can control how we deal with them. There are other ways to handle anxiety, which I will leave for another post. Personally, I would not enjoy reading long, rambling paragraphs, I just want to know how to make improvements, and fast! So, don’t forget to let it be, take a deep breath and maybe send out a little prayer to calm you nerves. YOU are in charge of how you react and how you handle the many difficulties that are thrown at you! Stay positive,
The definition of a mantra is ” a sound, word, or phrase that is repeated by someone who is praying or meditating.” Well, that is the “proper” definition but how I define it according to my life is somewhat different. I full heartedly believe in mantras in the sense that they can apply, help and easy many situations that most humans find themselves going in unfortunately far too often. I do not believe you must be praying or meditating in order to effectively use a mantra. Anxiety, depression and general stress, in my belief can be eased by some simple mantras. I have been experiencing anxiety like never before, extreme anxiety that is truly effecting my way of life. Ideally I would like to come up with a few phrases to remind myself that everything is going to be ok and the momentary panic will ease eventually. Whatever you do, do not focus on the issue that is causing you anxiety or extreme stress. Also, only decide on a mantra if you are ready to let go of the past, the negative experience and open yourself up to positivity. I think my go to mantra for 2015 will be simply “let it be, ” or, as dumb as it may sound “enjoy, relax, you are ok.” A simply phrase like these really relates to where I am in life because I’m feeling an extreme need to try and make every area of my life as perfect as possible and keep it that way. It may sound silly but there seems to be a million scattered thoughts in my head, so many things I want to accomplish and certain expectations of myself that are causing me serious trouble. I feel like in the end i will just fail because i can’t control something. So, “let it be,” damnit! Stress will never help you. Motivation and positivity will. SO, when you are on the verge of an epic freak-out, locate your word or phrase and repeat it over and over and take a deep breath. Words are far more powerful then many may realize. Nobody is perfect, everyone is dealing with their own personal demons, enjoy today and do not wish for tomorrow! Hope everyone is having a productive day!
The way I want to run my blog since, lets be honest I have no idea how to even get started is by blogging about topics relating to my life. Also, I never fully introduced my blog and I would like to take a quick minute to do that right now. First of all, the reason why I titled my blog in such a basic, self-explanatory and non-extraordinarily clever way is because these are things that are most relevant and important in my life. I am really trying to find some sort of balance between all the craziness and directions I am taking in my life. Beauty, or personal appearance is extremely important to me and finally I am in college and holy hell is this a new kind of experience. Holy hell, that sounds rather clever, note to self, say that more in daily life. Wow, I truly must be overtired because as per usual I am writing my thoughts out in a tangent. Anyways, I hope some of you struggling, experiencing and enjoying times in your life relating to balance beauty or even college will learn from or possibly enjoy coming along on the roller-coaster I am on, through my blog. Life is a beautiful thing, enjoy it with me! xo A